Surly Sunday

Commercial observations on a Sunday afternoon, watching football, bombarded by ads:

The world of Sunday afternoon advertising is a crisp, urban, Orwellian world, where people look alike, dress alike, and sound alike. It's emptiness masked by high-tech wonder, and mechanized bravado.

I'm not sure when it all changed. Gradually of course. But looking back, I remember when ads didn't look like this, sound like this. We weren't so clever. There was a syrupy sincerity that while somewhat embarrassing was also endearing.

Much of the advertising this Sunday afternoon takes place in offices. The offices never look attractive. They're  sterile, lifeless, and bland environments that make one long for a spring garden and the smell of fresh soil. Is it that bad out there? Have aesthetics gone south, replaced by this utilitarian horror?

There's an ad for KFC featuring a group of well-dressed, attractive young people at a party eating Kentucky Fried Chicken out of a bucket. When you're eating fried chicken out of a cardboard bucket you're not in a nice house, dressed well and looking good. You're in a driveway or parking lot and you're broke. I've been there.

Bud Lite: "Superior drinkability," the ad says.
Your ability to get beer into your mouth, down your throat and into your stomach is greater with Bud. Must be more liquidy.

Toyota Tundra:
"The truck that's changing it all." All of it? Does it all need changing? If not, shouldn't this vehicle be stopped?

Ford F-series: "You don't talk the talk if you can't walk the walk." Thanks for the heads up on that. You don't pull on Superman's cape either, or mess with that Jim guy.

GMC Sierra: "Just because it hasn't been done doesn't mean it can't be done."
This isn't a manned mission to Mars, boys. Trucks have been around a while now.

Honda Accord: "Hold on tight to your dreams."
I will, and I'll let you know when my precious dreams become so shallow as to include a single, moderately priced automobile.

Jeep makers remind us all to "have fun." Buying and driving their trucks is one way to do so. The Acura goes beyond fun and talks of "the thrill" of driving.
I've driven cars for decades now. They're not fun, They were when I was 16, for those first couple months with the new license, but those days are long gone. There is no thrill, not in driving. A thrill would be making love to a woman. The vehicle would be good for getting you to the house where the woman lives.

Diet Dr. Pepper: "There's nothing diet about it."  This made the least sense of all the slogans I encountered. The statement is almost impossible to back up. They might as well have said "Dr Pepper: There's nothing Dr Pepper about it." Then we could all have formally asked what on God's earth we're buying?

Lastly, an ad for a voice-activated car sound system. Was turning the music on by hand becoming too laborious? Who was bitching? The same folks who'll one day hire wipers at rest stops.

At least the football was entertaining. But I can't take any ads for a while. I'm shifting to public television for a couple weeks, until the Superbowl, when they say commercials will delight with their unique creativity.

Well, they can talk the talk, let's see 'em walk the walk.